I just returned from a conference where I was reminded again of one of my favorite books on relationships – The Five Love Languages, by Gary Chapman.
For those of you who haven’t read it, please run, don’t walk to the bookstore to get a copy. You’ll learn so much about your relationship, and even if you don’t have a partner, the info can be applied to colleagues and family members as well.
So if you haven’t read it, here’s the scoop – the book focuses on the way that people receive love from others. These are what’s known as the 5 love languages:
- Words of Affirmation – when someone says something nice to you
- Acts of Service – when someone does something for you
- Quality time – when someone spends time with you with undivided attention
- Physical Touch – hugs, cuddling, etc…
- Gifts – when someone gives you gifts
So I’ve read the book before and know that I am definitely a “words” person – I love hearing my husband tell me how much he loves and appreciates me, especially when he tells me why. But I had never taken the 5 love languages quiz before because I thought I just knew what I would score. And I was surprised to find that I scored almost equally high on quality time as I did on words of affirmation.
By taking the quiz and sharing the results with my husband (he’s a quality time and acts of service guy), I’ve been able to remind myself of what the most important love language we share is so that we can make more quality time together to further deepen our connection.
To that end, I invited Adam with me to a work travel event that I had coming up in the Bahamas. Although I had to work during the day, I was able to have some lovely meals, beach and room time where we could just concentrate on one another, and it was truly blissful.
So if you haven’t taken the 5 Love Languages Quiz, check it out – on your own or with your partner.
Learning and knowing your partner’s love language can make it easier for them to feel the love that you so want to give, and for them to give you the love you need.